Magic Murder Cube Marine - Chapter 42: Trouble in Candyland 

Something had been bothering Francis since Relativity showed him the blackened mountain Brexis was built on. He couldn’t help wondering if it was radioactive or something. So, when everyone was enjoying their cake and congratulating the newlyweds, Francis slipped away to visit Cassi.

The old wizarding tower wasn’t far from Brexis. Chuck was too inebriated to give him a ride, so he went alone. It took Francis about an hour to walk there on foot. The trip was uneventful, mostly.

He toasted a few highwaymen and wolves, but didn’t meet any real resistance. The mercenaries he fought days prior were nowhere to be seen. The green cloaks were probably too weak to mount another offensive so soon, assuming there was anyone left to pay them.

As he got closer to the tower, Francis began to notice some new decorations. For starters there was a sign for “Cassi’s Confectionary” written in ornate golden script above the door. But what really caught his attention were all the dead bodies. He summoned Relativity and continued towards the tower.

The attackers had been killed in any number of interesting ways. There was a dire wolf stapled to the trunk of a tree by a pair of giant candy canes. Some very dead gnomes lay on the ground, suffocated by facefulls of taffy. And a particularly unfortunate elf was slowly being covered in blue rock candy crystals as Cassi questioned him.

The wizard pointed a wand made of sharpened sugar-glass at the remaining attacker. “Where’s the hag that sent you?”

“I’ll never tell!” Squealed the elf through rotten teeth. The blue crystals had already made their way up his legs and one of his arms. Soon he would be completely covered.

“Too bad.” Cassi replied as he turned away to greet Francis. “Hello neighbor, why don’t we go inside and chat?”

“Sounds good.” Francis followed the wizard inside and accepted a mug of coco. “Trouble with the locals?” he asked.

“Yes, to put it lightly.” Cassi sheathed his wand. “Apparently there is a hag who isn’t happy I’m here.”

“Oh? Why not?” Francis helped himself to some marshmallows from a jar. He ate two and put the rest in his coco.

“She says I’m invading her turf.”

“The forest?” Francis asked.

“No, confectionery. Tiffany has a pumpkin spice flavored cottage somewhere in the forest. She’s luring kids with candy and fattening them up to eat, you know, basic hag stuff.”

Francis considered this. You couldn’t get much more basic than pumpkin spice cottage. “You think we should go pay her a visit?”

“It’s my fight, but I wouldn’t say no to some backup.” Cassi let out a sigh. “I thought I wasn’t going to have to deal with this crap anymore. But apparently the candy business is the same wherever you go.”

Francis sent a message to Willow about the situation and leaned back in his chair. If the hag was eating kids, that absolutely needed to stop. “What kind of resistance are you expecting?”

“I cleaned out the wolves and gnomes. She might have a few more elves backing her up. Maybe some fae too if we’re unlucky.” Cassi’s body language, and the corpses strewn along the front lawn, told Francis all he needed to know about the wizard’s capabilities.

Cassi wasn’t frightened, or amped up. Mostly he seemed frustrated. It was obvious that all he wanted was to be left alone. “So, how are we going to play this? Are we going in loud, or do we introduce ourselves first?” Francis asked.

“I’d rather avoid a fight, if possible. Chances are once Tiffany realizes what she’s up against she will pack up shop and leave.” Cassi looked out the kitchen window. The elf was using a knife to chip away at the blue crystals imprisoning him. So far he had gotten both arms free and was working on his legs.

“I’ve got him tagged with a locator spell. Chances are, if we’re patient he will lead us right to her, once he manages to break free.” Cassi finished off his coco and set the mug aside.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“That’s pretty sharp. Where did you learn to do something like that?” Francis asked.

The wizard shrugged. “When I was younger I chased bounties for the AG to pay my way through college. I may have picked up a few things along the way.”

The Marine was familiar with that particular story. He knew plenty of grunts who had joined up to pay for school. Francis had used the GI Bill to get a degree in art appreciation from Texas State University, and so far, nobody had been brave enough to ask him to give it back. His senior thesis on Blue Horse I by Franz Marc, “Horses are cool, want to fight me about it?” would live on in infamy.

The Marine watched the elf outside chip away the last of the blue crystals and limp off toward the forest. “Looks like our guy is on the move. Let’s roll.”

***

As they walked through the forest, Francis used Summon Animal Spirit to create a magical spy in the shape of a mouse. The spell didn’t say anything about size limiting how fast it could travel, so he figured smaller was better. At the very least, it would be harder to spot.

To his surprise, the mouse that appeared was the size of a house cat. He read over the spell wording again.

Cassi smiled. “Yeah, I made that same mistake the first time I cast it. ‘Small’ refers to a specific size of creature. Rats and mice are categorized as ‘swarmlings’.”

Francis dismissed the spell. “Well, shit. Any suggestions?”

“It’s the middle of the day, so a cat or fox would be a good choice.” The wizard suggested. “It’s important to pick something that won’t be out of place.”

“One feral feline, coming right up.” Francis waved his staff and a cat appeared. The striped tabby looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow. The spell said that the summoned spirit wasn’t supposed to be intelligent. But Francis was pretty sure this thing was smarter than some of the brass he had served under.

Francis looked at the cat. “Uh, hi.”

The cat smiled at his awkwardness. “Hello. Taking a little trip through the forest, are we?” It asked in a sing-song voice.

Cassi pointed his wand at the cat-shaped creature. “Who might you be?”

“Me?” it asked innocently, “Can’t you see I’m just a forest spirit?”

“Bullshit. You’re a demon that hijacked Francis’ spell.” The wizard waved his wand and a red circle of runes appeared around the cat.

“Summons are like an assortment of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” Cassi explained.

Francis watched as the demonic feline rubbed itself against Cassi’s ward. Sparks of red light flashed where it made contact with the magical barrier. It didn’t seem to be all that concerned. He tried to dismiss the spell, but nothing happened.

“Oh no, you caught me. Hastily constructed magical wards, my one weakness…” the demon said sarcastically.

Francis frowned. “Do you think it’s an asshole because it’s a cat, or because it’s a demon?”

“Both,” said Cassi and the demon in unison.

“Jinx! You owe me a soul.” The demon laughed as it scratched at the magical barrier. “But really, if you think this glorified crate is going to hold me, you’re wrong.”

“Why are you here?” Francis asked, losing his patience.

“Curiosity, mostly.” The demonic cat purred. “I wanted to meet the new god who has everyone’s panties in a twist. Did you know that Zeus and Hades had a big falling out over what happened to Olympia? Imagine that, the fracturing of a major pantheon, brother fighting brother.”

The Marine gave Cassi a questioning look. “Is that really such a bad thing? They’re both just assholes in togas, as far as I’m concerned. I’d rather have them fighting each other instead of fucking with me.”

“I’d say it is.” The wizard replied. “The last time two major gods fought, they almost destroyed the world.”

“Oh, shit.” Francis swore. “Yeah, that is a bad thing.”