Magic Murder Cube Marine - Chapter 59: Greeks Bearing Gifts
There had been a level of doubt in Francis’ mind on whether System would allow him to kill Stompy. Technically, they were both Champions. But Francis was very definitely also a god.
“I guess it’s time to find out,” the Marine said as he summoned Relativity and called Chuck for a pickup. The Magical Charger was saddled up and ready.
Hades called out after him. “Hold your horses, Francis. Stompy is here to help.”
The Marine stopped and looked up at the god of death. “Say again?”
There was a pop and Hades appeared on the road in front of Chuck in a cloud of billowing black smoke. “As I said, we are here to help.”
“Help me, or help yourself?” Francis asked, not believing a word he heard.
“Both,” Hades said, waving his hands like a magician taking a bow, “That unpleasantness with the wight has made me decide to open diplomatic channels, and prevent future misunderstandings. We could even collaborate to help these people.”
Mac walked over. “Hi! Remember me? I’m the last person you talked into collaborating. It didn’t end well for me.”
The god of death wrinkled his nose. “You smell like a distillery. Are you drunk?”
“Oh, sorry about that.” The demonic cat took a deep breath and exhaled a massive gout of flame. “We were celebrating last night. Something about surviving an attack by a wight.”
“Yes, my apologies for that. Someone gave me bad information and I flew off the handle.” A pained expression crossed Hades’ face.
Francis knew that look. “Love makes us crazy sometimes. At least you were man enough to admit it.” He hopped down to the ground and extended his hand. “I accept the apology.”
“Just like that?” the god of death asked cautiously.
“Yup. You fucked up, you manned up, then you apologized.”
Hades took the offered hand and shook it. As he did, the Marine stepped forward and got right in his ear. “Now, we’re going to play nice for the folks who are watching, but don’t ever threaten me and mine again.”
Very rarely had the god of death felt afraid for his own safety. But the quiet menace of Francis’ words made Hades feel like someone was walking over his grave.
The Marine turned back to face the city. Curious faces were watching the two gods, waiting to see if a fight would break out. “Everyone! I am Francis, God and ruler of Brexis! Hades has come to help us rebuild! Another god joins our cause!”
The cheers and shouts of support rang out from the refugees. The god of death paused and took it all in. People were cheering for him. They were happy he was here.
Hades spoke up, his magically boosted voice echoing out across the crowd. “Good people of Brexis! Do not fear, I am here to help rebuild! And I will open my new temple to all that are in need!”
For a brief moment, the god of death almost felt sad for the people of Brexis. They seemed nice, the kind of followers any god would love to have. It was a shame they probably would all be dead soon.
Francis watched the expression on Hades’ face flicker from joy to something less pleasant. He trusted the god of death about as far as he could throw him. And he had been stationed at enough embassies to know political bullshit when he smelled it.
There would be some plan, some angle the god of death was playing. But that didn’t matter, because by showing up, Hades had accidentally legitimized Francis’ claim to godhood in front of everyone.
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There would be no doubt in anyone’s mind of his divinity. Because gods did not treat mortals as equals. Better yet, the other major players would be scrambling to open their own temples in Brexis to scoop up their share of the new followers.
Sure, Hades was so crooked and twisted that you could screw him onto the ground like an auger. But that was a problem for future Francis. He would blow up that bridge when he got to it.
“Come on, goth boy. Let’s get you checked in. The Immortal Revenant Service will assign you a temple to use and a tax identification number.” The Marine gestured towards a series of tables, each with their own awning and a revenant to man them.
“Taxes?” Hades wrinkled his nose. “You’re going to tax the temples?”
“No, of course not. I don’t have time for that.” Francis replied, pointing at the nearest revenant. “But these boys here, they have nothing but time. And they are very, very, thorough.”
The god of death glared at the skeletal tax collectors. He could already feel his pockets getting lighter. “You know, Francis. You aren’t as dumb as you look. That’s actually pretty smart.”
Chuck let out a laugh, finally joining in on the conversation. Usually he preferred to let people forget he was there. But this was too good an opportunity to pass up.
“Oh, Hades. That was my idea, and I know you’re planning some sketchy shit. None of us are stupid enough to believe you’re actually here to help. So, play nice and don’t harm any of our citizens. That way I won’t have to turn you into a fucking kebab.”
The Magical Charger pointed his horn at Hades for emphasis. “And I’m sure you’re thinking to yourself, what about my Titan? Well, we’ve tangled with Stompy before, but this time we have the entire Dark Forest backing us up.
“Your little stunt with the wight pissed them off, and I can’t imagine your Titan would do well against an entire forest worth of angry druids.” Chuck laughed again. “Oh, yeah. It would be a lot like ants eating a lizard. Death by a thousand cuts.”
Hades wasn’t having it. “Those are pretty bold words from an uplift. Tell me again, how easy would it be for someone to dispel the magic that makes you intelligent?”
“About as easy as it would be for me to shove my staff up your ass and turn you into a scarecrow.” Francis summoned Relativity and tapped it against Hades’ bare leg, making the god of death uncomfortably aware that his robes didn’t offer much protection against attacks from below.
The Marine dismissed his staff. “Currently, you’re more useful to me alive than dead. But saying unkind things to my friends may make me rethink my current position. So, I’m going to give you a choice. Agree to behave while you’re within my territory, or we settle our differences right here, right now.”
“You would lose some people, if we fought.” Hades pointed out.
“Yes, I would.” Francis agreed. “But that’s war, and I’ve made my peace with it.”
A muffled voice called out from Hades’ robes. Mac had slipped underneath while the god of death was distracted. “Francis, do you mind if I threaten Hades a bit?”
“Sure, have fun.” The Marine grinned. “And just for today, feel free to do more than threaten him.”
The god of death felt a feline claw brush against a very vulnerable spot. He froze in place, trying not to move. The demon probably couldn’t hurt him, his Deflect was too high. But the possibility that Hades was wrong kept him from testing it.
“So, Hades. Now that I have your undivided attention, let me explain something to you,” Mac said, “We already discussed the possibility of you showing up. We already decided that if you came in peace, we would let you live.”
The demon let out a cackle. “Now, I want you to do some simple math. I’m a Tier five demon, Francis is a Tier seven god, and I don’t know what Chuck is, but I’ve seen him take care of business so he’s at least Tier 3. If Chuck and I lower your Deflect by our Tier, Francis can’t miss. In fact, he’ll probably crit.”
Hades stood still, quietly radiating fury. “Get to the point.”
Francis summoned his staff. “The point is, behave. If you want to fight, we can have a dust up right here. And your Titan won’t be able to save you.”
The god of death teleported a few meters back, getting clear of Mac’s claws. “I don’t need a Titan to deal with you. I could reduce this place to ashes in a single afternoon.” He froze as once again Mac batted at something underneath his robes.
The demonic cat let out a low growl. “Hades, I can teleport too, and Chuck is very fast. Perhaps you should quit while you’re behind.”
Instead of responding, Hades vanished in a puff of black smoke. Evidently he didn’t like the idea of a fair fight.
As one, Francis and his crew turned to face the imposing figure of Stompy off in the distance. The Chthonic Titan of Devastation wagged its tail happily.
“It’s time to play!” Stompy roared in Chthonic, the language of the underworld. “Ready or not, here I come!”
“Oh shit,” Francis said as the Godzilla sized Titan ran towards him.
