Shade Touched - 77. Stressed

Shadow watched with mounting concern as Annie appeared to have some sort of breakdown. She’d grabbed her head with her hands and was mumbling to herself with a faraway look on her face.

‘Mom? Are you okay?’ she wrote, making the text hover right in front of the woman’s eyes. She didn’t appear to be reading it. Annie’s eyes were staring right at the words, but they never seemed to focus. She just kept right on mumbling to herself. Shadow couldn’t make out what she was saying, even with her keen hearing.

Shadow patted her mom on the shoulder, hoping that might break her out of whatever this was and get her attention. When the woman didn’t react, Shadow tried letting out a small screech.

Annie jerked, looking around the room in a panic for a second, before her eyes finally settled on Shadow.

“Wh… what?” she said distractedly.

‘Are you okay?’ Shadow asked again and she cuddled up against her mom, trying her best to provide some sort of comfort. Clearly, Annie was very upset with the news that people had been suspicious about what she was doing. Shadow wasn’t sure why this was so bad, given that Annie hadn’t been ‘sharing state secrets’ (as far as Shadow knew. The inquisitor seemed to think not). The inquisitor even said he’d send something to Glossa saying they were innocent!

‘We’re not in trouble, I don’t think.’ Shadow ventured, hoping that Annie had perhaps misheard something. The tone with which the inquisitor had offered the information suggested something negative, though. Shadow feared she was the one missing something.

Annie squeezed Shadow with a hug.

“No… no I don’t think I am.” Annie whispered, but after another couple of breaths, she seemed to visibly calm herself. After another moment, she broke up the embrace and held Shadow back a little bit.

“But there’s nothing I can do about that right now. I can deal with future issues… in the future. I want to know how you’re doing. Given… what happened.” Annie said, trying for a kind smile. She was clearly still upset about what the inquisitor had said, though.

Shadow decided to leave it be. This was probably another one of those things that needed some time. Or a solution. Shadow didn’t even really understand what the problem was though, so she wasn’t sure how to help on that front.

Shadow put the matter aside and thought back to the events of the day.

‘I’m… okay. I wish those people didn’t die… but… I tried my best not to… well… kill them. It just didn’t turn out very well. I did have to kill the one because he was threatening the little girl, though… ’ She wrote, giving her mom a nervous look. ‘Are… are you mad at me?’ she asked.

Annie took a deep breath.

“No. No, I’m not mad at you.” Annie assured her.

Shadow felt a tension she hadn’t even been aware of release, and let out a deep sigh before nuzzling her mom.

Annie chuckled a little.

‘I was worried you’d be mad…’ Shadow confided, giving Annie a shy look.

Annie ruffled her ears, giving Shadow a small smile, before her look became more contemplative.

“I’ve… had time to think about what happened. With the hunter. I was… better prepared this time. I don’t like what happened, and I dearly wish it could have ended differently. In your place, I… might have made different choices,” she said. Shadow drooped, shrinking back a bit as her tail curled around herself protectively.

“Hold on! I wasn’t finished. I may have done things differently, but I’m not you, and I have experience you don’t. You did what you thought was best, and moved to save children you believed to be in mortal danger. You incapacitated people in the only way you’re able, and only truly meant to kill someone when there was no alternative, in your eyes. I can’t be mad at you for that. You did a good thing.” Annie explained, as reached out and started to rub Shadow along her back.

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Shadow uncurled a little bit, digesting the words as she received Annie’s backrub. Annie’s explanation hadn’t been entirely… positive?

‘You’re really not mad at all? You made it sound like… maybe I could have done better?’ Shadow posited, giving her mom a searching look.

Annie took another deep breath.

“I.. suppose so. Yes. There were… other paths you could have taken, that might have worked out better. But you did a good job!” she hurried to add, seeing Shadow start to shrink again. ”You were under a lot of pressure, and your choices were not wrong. No one makes perfect choices in the moment. I’m really not mad.” She emphasized.

Shadow digested that for a moment, before accepting it with a nod. Annie really didn’t seem mad. She was curious about what other paths Annie was thinking about. Shadow had a few ideas, but none of them were clear cut, given what she’d known at the time. With what she knew now, she definitely thought she could do better. She definitely could have been more careful with her bites, for example, or completely forgone her acid spit. She hadn’t known how hard the fight would be beforehand, though.

The door opened shortly thereafter. Jonas’s head peeked into the room, looking concerned. He relaxed a bit when he saw them both just sitting at the table, cuddling. He seemed calmer now than he was when he’d been asked to leave.

“Are you two alright? Got a little worried when you didn’t follow the inquisitor out.” He asked.

Annie and Shadow both nodded.

“We’re fine. I suppose we should head out, shouldn’t we?” Annie said, shooting a glance at Shadow, who nodded, jumping off her lap onto the floor.

She stretched herself on four legs for a few seconds before standing upright again. She… was feeling okay. The day had been the cause of a good deal of emotional chaos, but she felt she’d reached an equilibrium. Everything was not well. Not yet. But she wasn’t kidnaped, her mom didn’t hate her, she hadn’t been arrested, and the inquisitor hadn’t figured out she was a shadeling. She could deal with whatever other issues were still hanging around.

Annie headed out the door into the main room, and Shadow followed.

“What was all that about?” Jonas asked.

“I’ll explain on our way to some baths. We need to get cleaned up.” Annie said, taking a moment to look the three of them over.

Oh, right. Shadow thought, glancing down at herself. She was still covered in blood, although it was mostly dry now. She grimaced looking at her clothes, really hoping they weren’t too badly stained. She had hope though. Annie had managed to salvage the outfit the tatzelwurm had shredded, and that had definitely been bloody, not to mention in tatters.

Jonas and Annie had blood on them too. Annie must have gotten it on her when she went in to heal the liar, but Shadow cringed as she realized that most of the blood on Jonas appeared to have come from when he’d been hugging and holding her.

He noticed her pained look, glanced down at himself, and laughed.

“Don’t worry about it. This’ll scrub out, I’m sure.” He assured as he brushed at the dried splotches with his hand.

Shadow took one more look around the main room before following her family out to the street. She didn’t spot the kids. They were probably in one of the other rooms, getting talked to by Inquisitor Rubio. Shadow hoped they would get back to their parents alright.

Annie filled in Jonas as to what had gone down with the inquisitor as they walked to the bathhouse. He’d been relieved that the questioning had stopped where it did, as far as exposing Shadow’s heritage was concerned, but less relieved about the open rumors of Annie defecting with state secrets.

Shadow was able to get a better grasp of why this was so bad, as she listened to Annie and Jonas whispering about the situation during their walk. It would hurt Annie’s reputation a lot, even if she was cleared of any wrongdoing. There would be many people who simply wouldn’t believe that she’d really been innocent, instead thinking that she’d somehow gotten herself off the hook by other means. Even those who did believe would always have a reason to doubt or worry, just in case they were wrong. Everyone would trust her less.

Also, if her job was in jeopardy before, the situation was even worse now. She was literally working on a project for the king, although through an intermediary. It was possible she’d be fired just for being suspected of being a traitor, even if it wasn’t true, just to be safe.

Shadow offered her paw up to her mom for holding, hoping it’d comfort her a little. Annie had laughed and accepted the gesture, giving her a warm smile, so Shadow considered her scheme a success. Jonas had just laughed when she’d offer him her other paw, so he didn’t feel left out. He’d rubbed her head and told her he was fine. Shadow knew better, but didn’t want to push it.

It wasn’t long before they came to the bath. Shadow was quite curious about it, even if her normal vibrant enthusiasm was a little worn down at the moment. She’d never been to a bath. They were supposed to have hot water and soap. Annie had washed her with soap before, but only ever in rivers or ponds. The water had never been hot. Supposedly, it was very relaxing, which sounded great, considering. They could all use some relaxation at this point.

The group entered the building, more than ready to wash away the day.