Soul Guardian - Chapter 59: Funny looking birds
Bael woke up the next morning with Maharet caressing his back. He smiled and took her hand in his, kissing it gently. “Good morning.”
“Good morning to you too,” she replied, leaning forward to kiss him between his shoulder blades.
They lay there in bed, enjoying a few brief minutes of peace before the rest of the house woke up. There was still a wedding to plan and preparations to be made for Six’s first day of school. Not to mention finding gainful employment for Lucy.
But as Bael lay there, simply enjoying his current existence, a thought occurred to him. There was something he had completely forgotten about in his haste to return home. He let out a sigh.
Maharet looked over at him, raising an eyebrow questioningly. “What? What’s wrong?”
Bael climbed out of bed and donned his robe. “I left Metatron in the damn car.”
***
The Metatron had always been more of a mouthpiece than a powerful entity in his own right. Being sucked dry of his divine power had diminished him both magically and physically. Now he was about the size of a barn owl and crazy as a loon.
The angel giggled to himself and rolled around on the floor of his cage. Being exposed to Bael’s black book had driven Metatron insane, and he was enjoying every minute of it.
“Potato!” he squawked happily as Bael opened the rear hatch, “Potato! Potato! Potato!”
The Baron frowned as he opened the metal cage. “I really did a number on you, didn’t I?”
“Potato!” Metatron agreed, his fractured mind incapable of any rational reply. He rolled out and looked up at the Baron, “Potato?”
“I suppose you are kind of like a potato, what with all the eyes.” Bael mused, “I guess that’s as good a name as any for you.”
Potato didn’t have much input on that particular decision so he lay there, happily rocking back and forth. He used to have so much stress to deal with when he was the Metatron. But now he was just a happy little potato.
Six walked over to investigate what Bael was up to. Three equally curious hellcats trailed behind her. Arson let out a snort of laughter when she saw the state the angel formerly known as Metatron was in. “Oh how the mighty have fallen.” Licking her lips, she hopped up to take a closer look (and maybe even a bite).
Six got between them and scooped up the semi-fallen angel before Arson could do anything drastic. “Don’t even think about it,” she warned the hellcat.
Potato looked up at his savior. “Potato?”
“Don’t get too attached. I’m going to set him free later today,” Bael said, “He’s a very bothersome angel, not a pet.”
Six glared at Bael, then stomped back to the house with Potato still in her arms.
Bael sighed. Why do I even bother?
***
Lucy showed up around dinnertime riding a cherry red motorcycle and wearing a black leather jacket. She parked the stolen superbike in the driveway and went to ring the doorbell. Murphy was happy for the company, even if it was only a motorcycle. (Being part of a one vehicle household could be very isolating sometimes.)
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A familiar hellhound greeted her at the threshold. “HELLO,” Titan rumbled, “WELCOME TO OUR HUMBLE HOME.”
Lucy took off her helmet and looked around. “It doesn’t seem like much, to be honest. It’s actually kind of messy.”
“Well fuck you too,” Maharet said from the kitchen, “Try keeping everything spotless when you’ve got three hellcats, a hellhound, and a husband. I came downstairs this morning to find my daughter washing an angel in the sink. It’s chaos, absolute chaos.”
“Where is she now?” Lucy asked as she took a seat at the kitchen table.
Maharet grabbed two mugs full of tea and joined her. “Six will show up when she’s ready. So, how have you been?”
“Besides losing everything and being effectively banished to the mortal realm without my powers? Just peachy.” Lucy added a few spoonfuls of sugar to her chamomile tea. “I thought you were more of a coffee drinker?”
“I’m cutting back on the caffeine.” Maharet patted her belly. “I’ve been having some nausea and the tea helps.”
The former ruler of hell looked at Maharet in surprise. “How far along are you?”
The fallen angel shrugged. “Maybe a little less than a month? We’re keeping it a secret, for now. But I thought you should know about it, seeing as you’re basically family.”
Six wandered into the kitchen and grabbed a sugar cookie from the cooling rack by the stove. “What are you two talking about?”
“Nothing important,” Maharet lied, “Lucy Morningstar, this is my daughter, Six Sharoth.”
The Devil gave Six a once over before extending her hand. “I’m pleased to meet you.”
“I very much doubt that,” Six replied, declining to make physical contact, “My dad kicked your ass, and now you are looking for something you can use against him.”
“Both things can be true,” Lucy took her hand back and gave Maharet a questioning look. “Are you absolutely sure she’s not some kind of demon?”
“Nope,” Maharet said as she blew on her tea to warm it up, “We have no idea what she is.”
“I’m right here, you know.” Six mock glared at her mother before addressing Lucy. “I’m just a human. Though technically, I’m also a witch.”
“Wonderful, and has Bael started teaching you magic?” Lucy asked, looking for something she might be able to exploit later.
“No, unfortunately. He says I need to wait until winter break. Apparently he’s worried I’ll turn one of my classmates into a frog, or something.” Six rolled her eyes and grabbed a few more cookies. “I wouldn’t though, frogs are super cool.”
Then, without bothering to say goodbye or ask permission, Six departed. The two fallen angels sat in silence, listening to make sure she was really gone.
Maharet was the first to speak. “Six is sweet, and I love her. But I’m really not looking forward to her teenage years.”
Lucy nodded vigorously. “Yeah, I can totally see that. Her teachers are in for a rough time too.”
Maharet grinned and handed over a large manila envelope. The fallen angel didn’t say a word, it was too perfect a moment to ruin with words.
Inside of the envelope Lucy found a driver’s license, birth certificate, diploma, and a job offer.
Lucy read the job offer and set it down on the table. “Really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “You want me to become a gym teacher?”
Maharet nodded, the grin on her face growing even wider. “Yes, apparently there was an opening. The guy who usually teaches it didn’t show up for the morning meeting. And when someone went to check on him, it became very obvious that a replacement would be needed. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
The Devil giggled. Her one night stand’s unfortunate end would be talked about for many years to come. Pushing someone down the stairs was a great way to make a murder look like an accident.
The fact that the wannabe serial killer had been wearing a unicorn costume at the time was just a happy coincidence. Apparently dressing up as a mythical creature and chasing women with a knife was how he got off. Nobody in law enforcement would look too hard at that case. (At least, not without laughing.)
Lucy took a sip of her tea. “You know, I’m surprised the school let Bael pick who he wanted for the position. Normally there are all kinds of internal politics involved.”
“Oh, he hasn’t told them yet. But I’m sure they’ll play ball.” Maharet smiled.
