The Butcher of Gadobhra - Chapter 418: The Curious Cooking Rituals of the Fire Flume Kobolds.

Two men and a wagon traveled through the busy streets of Wolfsburg, talking as they went. Cauldrius had just finished telling Ozzy about his life in the Mage Guild and the highlights of his latest camping trip, including the native cooking traditions.

“Damn, they cook using fresh lava from a volcano? I know kobolds are fire-happy, but that’s hardcore. What sort of food? Grilled meats, I assume?”

“Lava-grilled steak is always a popular dish, especially if marinaded correctly, but that’s a beginner recipe. The more experienced chefs in the tribe use large ceramic woks to concentrate the heat of the molten rock and produce spicy batches of stir-fried vegetables and sea creatures. My favorite is a dish of urchins, shellfish, and sea snails mixed with spicyredweed harvested from volcanic vents, and whatever vegetables are in season. The heat liquified the snails to a tangy sauce and pops open the shells of the clams and mussels. Very tasty and filled with a variety of differently aspected mana.”

Ozzy’s belly rumbled. “You’re making me hungry just thinking about that. I may have to talk to my friend Myrna about visiting the place. Sounds like she might even have relatives out that way. I’m grabbing a snack. Got a fresh jar of Vodspaller Tongueburners. Care for some?” Ozzy pulled out a jar of the bright red pickled snails and offered them to his passenger. Anyone within ten yards of the wagon felt their eyes start to burn and hurried past.

“Oh, I’ve had something like this before, but it’s been years. Exquisite taste.” He took two and popped the first in his mouth, chewing with gusto. “They’ve improved the recipe. These are much hotter than before with several subtle flavors added.” The second went into his mouth and Ozzy passed him the jar again. Ozzy hadn’t been keen on the large, pickled snails at first but it hadn’t taken long to win him over to the taste of the Tongueburners. He was still undecided on the Greenbloat variety.

“These are locally produced in Sedgewick now. The Vodspaller Clan has snail farms in the fens to the southwest of town and a local Peppermage is growing the hot stuff to season them. Business is booming for the Vodspallers and they have a shop in town that is doing well. I’ll be selling jars of their snails in my shop here in the city once I open up.” Seeing how Caldrius enjoyed the snails, Ozzy offered him a slice of his Mage’s Delight. He didn’t think the Firemage would have any trouble with it. He’d bit into those Tongueburners like they were candy, and Ozzy was sweating hard after his snack and feeling the burn.

“This is one of my other recipes.”

Caldrius sniffed the cured meat. “Interesting smell. Fire and Smoke aspects. Oh my, that is a lot of Smoke! But the maple syrup has some Fae flavoring in it and the meat has an underlying base of Dark mana. Hmm, and subtle hints of Earth from the peppers.” He chewed down the slice. “Very tasty and potent. The bouquet of aspects blends well and contributes to this recipe’s higher mana replenishment. I’ve tried to explain the idea of blended aspects to some of my colleagues but all they can think about is fire, fire, and more fire. They tend to ignore the interactions between aspects because they don’t understand them. Which, truthfully, I barely do. It’s very nice to see a practical example of something that they won’t be able to ignore. Which Arcane University did you study at, by the way?”

“Oh, no book learning for me. I work 80 to 100 hours a week for the Baron and have no time to go to school. I’m more of a hands-on learner. I learned something about smoking meat and using smoke for magic from an old fellow named Joe. Been around for quite a while. What he taught me led to a trip up to the great smokey seas. I picked up a lot there, got into a lot of fights, met some neat people, and made a few friends. Did a lot of cooking with a firewalker named Butterbelly. Man, that guy can cook. Once I was back home again I picked up some grilling from a fire kobold named Myrna. Great cook, you’ll have to try her tacos sometime. They can burn your ears off. I keep busy all the time now, smoking meat, and learning new tricks from Joe.”

“And you have no Mage’s Guild in Sedgewick?”

“Well, sort of. Jasper is there to test likely lads for their potential, but he’s a curmudgeon and rarely does more than that. Miss Belerianne moved into town and is trying to upgrade the place to Tier 1, but keeps having trouble. The mayor is really annoyed and mentioned that the paperwork has been sent in three times but always gets lost, along with the fees she has paid. Sort of seems obvious to everyone that someone doesn’t want us to have a bigger Mage’s Guild.”

Caldrius sighed heavily. “Sadly, I would have to agree. Politics must have reared its ugly head. It’s not fair, but it does happen. No promises, but I may be able to look into the situation. Someone as talented as you with three aspects should have proper tutoring. Multiple aspected mages are rare and you have training in not one, but two complex aspects.”

“Five.”

“Five?”

“Yep. I learned Fire to help me with Smoke and then went sailing around the Smoke with Captain Woodrat. He’d been a woodwright on ships for decades and showed me how to shape wood. He’s a real master of it. When I returned to the Conjunction, the System decided I’d earned Aspects of Radiance, Wood, and Heat because of some of the things I’d done. So five in all. Multiple aspects aren’t uncommon in Sedgewick. A lot of folks have a couple. Which is sort of ironic since we don’t have many spells to cast, outside of our specialties. But they do help out a lot with our work. Anything that stretches your mana further can help out on a long day of smoking meat.”

“And yet no proper Mage Guild or school. I find that unsettling.”

Ozzy shrugged. “Sedgewick was a pretty small place only a couple of years ago. Baron William moved in and has been cultivating a lot of land and doing a lot of building. Sometimes the population outstrips what the town has to offer. But we all have a place to live and lots to eat. The Baron even took in a few villages worth of refugees. Some of those kids are developing their magic potential. Miss Belerianne is still trying hard to take care of everyone, but the Mayor has sort of given up and is going to be working with the new University in Gadobhra. Maybe when they get the new buildings set up they can run some beginner classes.”

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“What? I’ve heard nothing about that. How did the Baron get sanctioned by the Mage’s Guild and convince them to open a new Arcane University? How can they object to a low-level Mage Guild but award a grant for a new University? That makes no sense! Then again, it isn’t the first time things made no sense.”

“Oh, maybe I misspoke? That’s what the Professors call it. Lots of crazy people working with magic and the other half with engineering and magi-tech. The Baron is building them a big place so they can experiment with all sorts of crazy stuff. I’m sure it isn’t accredited by the Mages Guild and at this point, I don’t think the Baron cares, but I might be mistaken. He’s a smart and hardworking guy. He might be working on a deal.”

Caldrius understood now, and his head hurt to think about it. The Baron, frustrated at not getting a proper mage guild was raising the stakes in the game by inviting in a gaggle of hedge wizards to annoy the Guild. They’d hate that, and he could use it as a bargaining chip. This is what happened when the guild refused to work with the minor nobles who ruled in out-of-the-way places.

“Well, more power to him, if he can force them to deal with him. Maybe things will shake up a little. But I’d like to know more about your time in the elemental plains, is that where your little friend around your forearm came from? He’s playing shy around me. No need for that. I’m not one of those people who think familiars should be ‘seen and not heard’.”

“Hmm, haven’t thought of him that way, and it’s sad that some folks have an attitude like that. He’s usually polite when we’re out and stays quiet unless we get into a fight.”

Chainey uncoiled off of Ozzy’s arm and slithered over to the old fire mage, offering the end of his chain. Caldtius smiled and shook hands. “Pleased to make your acquaintance. Now I wish I had brought my current familiar with me to introduce to you, but Iggy is a twenty-foot-long salamander with a habit of arson. This city would be too much of a temptation for him.”

Chainey slithered back to Ozzy, wrapping around his forearm. “Chainey’s a big help at my smoke pit. Most of him is there now, working hard, but a little of him travels with me. That’s a long and interesting story I’ll tell you when we have a lot more time. Things have been really busy in Sedgewick lately and I’ve got a lot to do there, so I shouldn’t dawdle today. But you should come and visit. There’s a lot going on there and I could show you around some of the dungeons.”

“I find that interesting, Ozzy. I’ve always felt that a mage can learn more from adversity than from endless study. Oh, don’t get me wrong, theory and proper study have their place, but they don’t give you a lot of Experience or Enhancement points. I’d judge you’ve earned quite a few of those in your dungeons. And…hmm…hold up for a moment, would you? Someone is traveling this way in a hurry.”

Ozzy heard the sound of hooves as well and drew the wagon off to the side. A squadron of the Red Banner came down the street at a gallop and pulled up in front of the wagon. The sergeant leaped down from his horse and saluted the Firemage.

“Master Caldrius? Sorry to hurry you along, but the situation has gotten worse. The Duchess heard you were en route to the teleport stone and asked us to find you and bring you to her as fast as we could.”

“I’m headed there now. What do you mean by worse? I was told this was just a matter of some errant mana leaking from a poorly-tuned teleport stone.”

“It was, and that is still happening. But we have another situation. The city guard has been trying to shut down a new smuggling ring. They got a tip out about illegal goods being dropped off at a local tailor shop. But when they caught two of the smugglers all hell broke loose. We have over fifty people with bad frostbite and two city guards frozen solid and dead. The smugglers were Ice Mages and they started throwing spells and brought down a blizzard in a small courtyard. They fled and have been tracked to a fortified building nearby but the Duchess wants more than regular soldiers to deal with it. She’s asked the Mage’s Guild for aid and sent us to find you.”

Caldrius turned to Ozzy, “I know you said you were busy…”

The Butcher grinned, picked up the startled mage, and set him on the seat of the wagon. “No worries. The Duchess buys sausage from me. I’m happy to help out a good customer. Hold on tight and I’ll follow the cavalry at a run. Chainey will dig us out some more bacon, I think we’re going to need it.”

The old mage was delighted when Chainey handed him slices of Ozzy’s latest version of improved Mage’s Delight. His skill at creating magical meats was much increased and he was finding new variations of his old recipes.

The Red Banner squad turned and started clearing the way. Ozzy followed at a run, pulling his wagon as the most powerful Fire Mage in the Mages’ Guild enjoyed his snack and fired up his furnace.