Tunnel Rat - Interlude: Flower Town
It was a bright, sunny day in Flower Town, as it always was. The daffodils sang love songs to the posies, the unicorns frolicking in the meadows, and the Pickle Gang was up to no good—just another normal day in a little pocket of the Fae Realms. The evil gang of sour gherkins were more active this season, under the leadership of their new boss, PickleRif. He was small in size, not even coming up to Big Pickle’s knees but he had the intelligence and ability to make mistakes that were the hallmarks of pickle leaders. Granny Pickle was recovering from a bad fall off of a Goatsmasher Ridge when she went jelly bean picking with their new recruit. Picklerif had told the sad tale of being ambushed by a gang of Smash Goats while deep in the bean bushes. Granny had bravely led the goats away while he made off with the jelly beans that the family needed so badly. When he’d returned, he’d found he at the bottom of the ridge with enough dents in her to keep her laid up for a season or two. Feeling badly, Picklerif volunteered to take over the hard work of planning their next scheme.
His plan was crafty. It involved hiring a gang of rogue gophers to tunnel under the fairy houses and during the morning while the houses sunk into the ground, Big Pickle and Little Dill would uproot the Jelly Bean bushes and steal them for transplanting by the Picklecave. The first part of the plan went off fine, with the gopher tunnels dropping three houses down into the ground. Two gophers were crunched under them, but no one ever said being a gopher mercenary was easy work, and no tears were shed. The second part of the plan ran into a problem when the bushes cried out as they were pulled up by the roots. A dozen fairies came flying in to stop Big Pickle before he could hurt anyone else. Little Dill was yelling at him. She’d told him to use a shovel, but he didn’t understand how to use one except for digging graves. Before the two had a chance to quit yelling at each other, the fairies had tied them up in Scoober Spider Web, that even Big Pickle couldn’t break out of. The poor, injured bush was replanted and given extra fertilizer made from unicorn droppings to help it recover.
While all this was going on and creating a wonderful diversion, Picklerif was sneaking into the Jelly Bean Vault and stealing the magical beans, all the while mumbling to himself. Unlike the other pickles, Picklerif wasn’t adapting well to being green, hairless, and wrinkled. He was also sour, but Rifkin had always been sour. Granny had taunted him with a cure, but hadn’t given him the details.
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“Reds, I need reds. Reds for healing, and yellow for removing curses. Is that it? Why wouldn’t the old woman be more specific. Reds, yellows, and greens? NO! Not green. Not green….”
Eventually he had more than he could carry and exited the Vault, only to be stopped by the delicate fragrance of a block of Limburger Cheese sitting next to a picnic basket in the meadow. Looking both ways and seeing no one, Picklerif raced for the cheese. “Come to me, my precious. A tasty reward for a clever fellow like myself!”
Poor Picklerif! Just as he got to the cheese, the Hero of Flower town appeared. “Ha! Caught you red handed this time, Rif. Stealing cheese and Jelly Beans? You’ll be pulling weeds for a month once your trial is over.” Larry grabbed Picklerif by his ankle and swung him around until he was dizzy.
“No Fair! Where did you come from?!
Larry looked at the former Cheese Master with a glint in his eye and a small smile showing his even, white teeth. “Why, didn’t you know that heroes can hide in Picnic baskets? Silly pickle.”
Cursing with words that we simply can’t print here, Picklerif was hauled off to the holding cell along with the remaining gopher and pickles. All in a days work for the Hero of Flower Town.
As Larry was helping lift out the houses, a special messenger hound ran up, barking, and holding an official looking letter. Everyone gathered around to find out what it said, and the hound was given many ear scritches in reward. “What does it say, Larry?”
“Larry has a quest! A Big Quest! A fallen Knight needs a Hero to help him do good deeds! But it looks like a long quest…all the way to the Mortal Lands in the far North!” Larry looked at the fairies, the Pickles, and the houses sunk to their roofs.
The fairies cheered him on. “You have to go. Big Quests are important.”
Larry nodded. They needed a Hero, and Larry was a Hero. This was a job for Larry. He read further? “Ooooh….but Larry will need help! Brinka! Come quick, we need a Tunnel Muggle tunnel. Larry needs a squire for this quest! We have to find Tallsqueak…Squire Squeak!”
